Fawlty Towers - Series One, Episode Six - The Germans' (1975)

"The Germans" was the sixth episode of the classic BBC Sitcom Fawlty Towers. It is fondly remembered for its line "Don't mention the war" and "John Cleese's funny walk" when he is impersonating Adolf Hitler.

Sybil is in the hospital for three days for minor surgery to remove an ingrown toenail. When Basil visits her, she reminds him of all his tasks over the next few days: Running a fire drill, hanging a moose head, etc. Basil fights with the Sister caring for Sybil. When the Doctor tells him Sybil will be in a lot of pain after the operation, Basil is thrilled!

Back at Fawlty Towers, Basil has a confusing conversation with Major Gowen about women, a cricket game and the proper racial slurs for Indians. When the Major learns a group of German guests are coming to the hotel, he launches into an angry tirade against Germans. After the Major wanders off, Basil tries to hang the moose head, but he is interrupted by a phone call from Sybil reminding him to hang the moose head. Basil tries to ask Manuel for a hammer, but he gives up after Manuel thinks that Basil wants a hammer sandwich and wants to see his hamster, Basil leaves to get it himself. While he is gone, Manuel steps behind the front desk to tidy up and practice his English. The Major returns to hear a voice coming from behind the counter and thinks it is coming from the moose head. Basil returns and hangs the moose head, but it immediately falls on his head, and he trips over Manuel trying to get to the phone to talk to Sybil again.

The next morning, Basil hangs the moose head again, but one of the antlers keeps drooping. There are just a few minutes remaining until the fire drill, and Sybil calls to remind Basil of the drill and say the key for the fire alarm is in the safe. Basil retrieves the key, but he trips the burglar alarm, which the guests mistake for the fire alarm. As Basil tries to explain, the guests ask to hear both bells so they can tell the difference. Hearing the fire bell from the demonstration, Manuel and Polly think the fire bell means the drill has started, so Basil has to explain the situation to them, too. After the demonstration, Basil says the real drill will start in 30 seconds, so the guests stand about in the lobby, to Basil's annoyance.

In the kitchen, moments before the drill is to start, Manuel starts a real fire. The drill then commences. The panicked Manuel tries to explain the situation to Basil, but he does not understand and locks the poor waiter in the burning kitchen. Basil lets the guests back in, but Manuel's frantic banging makes him open the kitchen door. Basil sees the fire and tells the guests to exit the building again. He tries to start the alarm again, but he cannot find the key. He hurts his hand trying to smash the glass and hurls the typewriter at it with no success, so he uses the phone instead. He tries to use the fire extinguisher, but he blasts himself in the face, which temporarily blinds him. Trying to help, Manuel accidentally smacks Basil in the head with a frying pan he had been using to try to smother the flames and knocks Basil out.

Basil comes to in the hospital, where he is being treated for a concussion. The confused, disoriented Basil insults the Sister and insists on going home. The Doctor puts him to bed, but after he is gone, Basil sneaks out.

Back at Fawlty Towers, the German guests have arrived. Basil tries to speak German. However he does not understand it, since two German guests want to hire a car, but Basil thinks that they are volunteering to get some meat. Polly encourages Basil to lie down, but he insists on trying to serve lunch to the Germans. Despite warning Polly "don't mention the War", he makes multiple references to World War II accidentally at first, but eventually becoming worse as he goes on. When his references drive one German guest to tears, Basil tries to cheer her up with a joke about a bomber over Berlin. When that fails, he tries an impression – of Adolf Hitler, which involves goosestepping around the lobby. The Doctor arrives to give Basil a sedative and take him back to the hospital. Basil makes a run for it hitting Manuel to distract the Doctor, but the moose head falls on his head which knocks him out again while the moose ends up on Manuel's. Manuel complains that Mr Fawlty hit him on the head but the major walks by and says "No, you hit him on the head, you naughty moose!" The episode ends with the German guests wondering "how ever did they win?" (referring to the War).

Basil, a Branch and an Austin 1100!

The limited edition Corgi Austin 1100 Estate Fawlty Towers car was exclusively released by PBS stations in conjunction with the 30th anniversary of Fawlty Towers actually is the correct replica of the car Basil loved to hate.

These highly collectible cars are only available through PBS stations, and the set (pictured above) includes the car, Basil Fawlty figurine, complete with branch, and a numbered Certificate of Authenticity.

Fawlty Towers - Series One, Episode Five - Gourmet Night (1975)

Fawlty Towers has a new chef named Kurt who has been found for them by André, Kurt's culinary trainer and a friend of the Fawltys, just ahead of a gourmet night that Basil, ever eager to attract the upper crust of clientéle in Torquay, is intending to host at the hotel. Kurt has taken a liking to Manuel. Basil, meanwhile, is having trouble with his Austin 1100 Estate car. Despite Sybil's insistence that he take the car to be mended, the miserly Basil tries to fix the car himself. Unfortunately, when the gourmet night arrives, only four people turn up (Colonel and Mrs. Hall, both JPs and Lionel Twitchen, one of Torquay's leading rotarians, along with his wife, Lotte) due to Basil including a "no riff-raff" notice in his advertisement after a rude and pampered boy brands the hotel a "dump" simply because his chips weren't the shape he preferred and they didn't have any salad cream (to which Basil responds by "accidentally" elbowing him in the head and comparing him to "Henry Kissinger"). A party of four, the Coosters, was supposed to be in attendance, but are forced to cancel at the last minute due to one of them getting ill. When Basil learns of this, he snidely remarks "let's hope it's nothing trivial."

As the episode unfolds it is revealed that Kurt is a homosexual alcoholic and his interest in Manuel is actually on a romantic scale, but Manuel, who is straight, is not interested, so Kurt seeks solace in alcohol and ends up drunk to the point of being unable to cook, unbeknownst to Basil, as the dinner guests are arriving.

Basil displays his extreme social awkwardness as he becomes over sensitive to Colonel Hall's introduction to the other guests. The Colonel has a nervous twitch which causes his neck and head to convulse violently. When Fawlty attempts to introduce the two couples he gets hung up on the name of "Lionel Twitchen", so as not to offend the Colonel, and is unable to introduce them, thereby causing maximum embarrassment for himself. Mr Twitchen, upon seeing the Colonel's twitch, realises what has happened and gives his surname as "Twychen'.

Basil is horrified to realise that Kurt passed out, and after he vomited, now doesn't have a chef. Fortunately, André, who was aware of Kurt's alcoholism, is on hand to help Basil. However, as André's restaurant has a restricted availability, the 'gourmet' menu ends up with only three possible dishes for Basil's guests to choose from - all consisting of various forms of duck: Duck with orange, duck with cherries, or 'duck surprise' (duck without oranges or cherries). When Basil is asked what happens if they don't like duck, he responds "If you don't like duck... then you're rather stuck!" (to which Mrs. Hall responds that she loves it).

Basil's attempts to obtain the food are complicated. The first duck is ruined when Basil accidentally drops the tray and Manuel's foot gets lodged in it, so Basil ends up having to ask André for another. The second attempt is hampered by Basil's car, which finally breaks down on his way back with the food; the scene ends with what is arguably one of the most famous sequences: Basil screaming at the car and giving the vehicle fair warning, followed by a "damn good thrashing" with a tree branch after it finally completely refuses to start.

The staff try to stall for time while waiting for Basil to return with the duck: Manuel plays Flamenco tunes on his guitar, Polly sings "I Can't Say No" from the musical Oklahoma!, and Sybil drunkenly recounts an anecdote about "uncle Ted and his crate of brown ale." Basil manages to get back to the hotel on foot and the guests are finally presented with the "duck" which they have so eagerly awaited, only to discover that, due to a mix-up in Andre's kitchen, it has turned into a Bombe Surprise when Basil removes the cloche. Basil is so surprised that he searches through the trifle with his hands to see if there is a hidden duck. When asked to explain this, Basil deadpans "Duck's off, sorry."

A 1999 poll for NatWest car insurance voted the scene in this episode where Basil attacks his car with a tree branch as "most momentous motoring moment".

Fawlty Towers - Series One, Episode Four - The Hotel Inspectors' (1975)

When Basil hears of Hotel Inspectors roaming Torquay, incognito, he realises with horror that the guest he has been verbally abusing could easily be one of them. "The Hotel Inspectors" was the Fourth episode from Series One of the classic Fawlty Towers and was first broadcast on 10th October 1975.

Two guests, Mr. Walt and Mr. Hutchinson, arrive separately at reception. Mr. Walt says very little, while Mr. Hutchinson speaks in a very drawn-out and pompous, overly-affected Northern manner (claiming that he finds "the air here [in Torquay] most invigorating") that immediately irritates Basil. Basil becomes increasingly irate as Hutchinson makes unreasonable requests and asks for specific directions to a meeting. Whilst drawing Hutchinson a map containing an abbreviation of Post Office, Basil accidentally makes Mr. Walt think he tells him to 'P-off', and also produces picture cards for Manuel to understand what he is saying. After Sybil finally finishes on the phone, she informs Basil that a friend of Audrey's discovered the presence of three Hotel Inspectors in town. This information raises Basil's blood pressure several notches, and he becomes determined to work out who the Inspectors are, realising with horror that any of the guests he has been monstering could be one of them.

While Mr. Hutchinson is requesting to reserve the television to watch a documentary he is interested in, he says something which makes Basil's hair stand on end: "In my professional activities I am in constant contact with [hotels]." This, combined with Hutchinson's neediness and over-inflated style of speaking, convinces Basil that Hutchinson is actually an Inspector, and changes his attitude towards Hutchinson, instead treating him like a VIP. He escorts him to the dining room, where lunch is about to be served, and ends up overlooking Mr. Walt, who is forced to wait after his bottle of wine proves to be corked, even though Hutchinson is taking a phone call. Sybil quietly reveals to Basil that Mr. Hutchinson is in fact a spoons salesman (she had overheard his conversation). Feeling conned, Basil promises revenge on Hutchinson. However, Basil's relief is short-lived when, while making conversation with him, Mr. Walt casually mentions that he is in Torquay "on business with two colleagues," which convinces Basil that he is actually the Inspector. In order to prevent Walt getting a bad impression, Basil tries to stop Hutchinson, who is annoyed because a confusion in the kitchen has led to his being served several dishes he did not order, from complaining by choking him, eventually rendering him unconscious.

Hutchinson regains consciousness and starts punching Basil at reception, who uncharacteristically accepts it without retaliation in Mr. Walt's presence, before storming off, declaring he is leaving and does not expect to receive a bill. Mr. Walt is flabbergasted, especially when Basil tries to bribe him not to mention the chain of events which has just taken place when he reviews the hotel, and immediately goes into hysterics, realizing how much he has just risked the hotel's reputation. Mr. Walt reveals he is actually an outboard motors salesman, and consoles Basil. Thinking he is in the clear, Basil runs to the kitchen with Manuel, who stops Mr. Hutchinson as he is leaving, saying Basil wants to "say adios". Basil then slaps pies on Mr. Hutchinson's face and crotch while Manuel pours milk into his briefcase. Hutchinson is marched to the door and forcibly ejected out of the hotel by a vengeful Basil, who kisses Manuel on the head for his help, crosses over to the reception and welcomes three smartly-dressed businessmen to the hotel - who have just witnessed the previous goings-on. He screams in terror when he realizes who they clearly are.

Fawlty Towers - Series One, Episode Three - The Wedding Party (1975)

Basil is disgusted when two young lovers, Alan and Jean, begin 'hanky-pankying' under his very nose while checking in. He becomes convinced that they and two other guests (a couple called the Lloyds) are engaged in group sexual misbehaviour, somehow also involving Polly. Meanwhile, circumstances conspire to put him in apparently compromising situations whenever they are around.

A heatwave has hit Torquay, bringing Basil's incompetence - not to mention his intolerance - to an all time high. When he realises that the two young lovers Alan and Jean, who are checking in, aren't married, he tries to force them into single rooms on separate floors. Meanwhile, Mrs. Peignoir, an attractive French antique dealer, seems to have taken a shine to Basil, much to Sybil's annoyance. Alan returns to the lobby and asks Basil if he knows whether any chemists are still open. Basil initially assumes he wants to buy condoms, then when Alan says he wants batteries Basil - still assuming it must be sex-related - tells him that is "dis-gusting". When Alan explains that he wanted batteries for his electric razor, Basil tries to save the situation.

Later that evening, Mrs. Peignoir arrives home and drunkenly trips over Basil as he crouches on the floor picking up her purse that she has dropped, ending up sitting on him. At that moment Alan and Jean also arrive, witnessing what appears to them to be a very intimate situation. Later that same night Manuel, who had been out celebrating his birthday, returns home drunk with his umbrella (a birthday gift from Basil) outside Basil and Sybil's door and accidentally hits Basil over the head with the umbrella. As Basil crumples to the floor in pain, Manuel drunkenly sits over him, saying "Mr Fawlty, I love you, I love you ...." and once more Alan walks in on the situation. Then Basil strangles Manuel.

Jean's mother and stepfather Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd arrive next morning. Basil soon notices strange going-ons between the Lloyds, Jean, Alan, and Polly. For example, Basil accidentally walks in on Jean hugging Mr. Lloyd, and not realising that they are family he tries to keep Mrs. Lloyd from the room where he saw them embracing. He shows her the kitchen, where Manuel is sleeping off the previous night's celebration in the linen basket. Finally he lets her up to the room, only to discover Polly (a family friend of the Lloyds) is now hugging Mr. Lloyd. He again distracts the now very edgy Mrs. Lloyd by showing her another room, explaining that the Lloyds' room is not as nice. When Mrs. Lloyd enters the room, she realises that it is exactly the same as the one Basil showed her. As he is leaving the room, Basil hears loud moaning noises from Alan and Jean's room and Polly hurries out, dressing herself (she has been trying on a dress Jean made for her and the moaning was because Jean had been massaging Alan's shoulders).

Thinking the worst, Basil prepares to fire Polly and tells the Lloyds to leave. Sybil explains that they are one family and that Polly went to school with Jean, and has known them for years. He argues with Sybil about apologising to them, saying sarcastically "No, no, I suppose it's all my fault, isn't it?" But Sybil insists and advises him to "Tell them you made a mistake." So he rehearses the apology (to Sybil, to Polly, to himself and to empty space) "I'm so sorry, I made a mistake", but by the time he reaches the guests' room, the sentence has become "I'm so sorry, but my wife has made a mistake!"

Sybil's good friend Audrey has split up from her husband, much to Basil's irritation as she's constantly on the phone and repeating the phrase 'Ooh, I know'. She goes to visit Audrey the following day and, as Major Gowen puts it, "listen to all that rubbish" while consoling her friend. A flirtatious Mrs. Peignoir tries to charm Basil that night while Sybil is away, and he is very jumpy in the evening. As he tries to undress someone keeps knocking at his door, and he believes it to be Mrs. Peignoir trying to seduce him again. However when he realises it is actually Sybil returned early, he opens the door and unconvincingly says "Oh, what a terrible dream," trying to explain his previous whispers to Mrs. Peignoir (as he thought) to go away. Sybil, however, doesn't notice his odd behaviour, as she tells Basil that she has heard a burglar downstairs. Both are unaware that it is actually Manuel, who has awakened from the linen basket, still hung over. Basil quietly creeps downstairs in his underwear and hits 'the burglar' over the head with a frying pan. Manuel is revealed unconscious, and Basil crouches over him in the foyer. Just as Basil realizes who it is, Alan, Jean and the Lloyds walk into the hotel, where they are confronted by the sight of Basil apparently lying on top of Manuel with no trousers on. They creep past, bemused by his behaviour, and Mr Lloyd, slightly drunk, says to Basil "We've been to a wedding". In frustration and humiliation, Basil draws back the frying pan for a final vengeful clout ...